A Year in Helheim
by Exonfixer
Summary: [Requested by: Bighead98] A year has passed since Kouta claimed the Forbidden Fruit and taken the forest of Helheim to a distant planet alongside Mai. Now, he takes the time to reflect upon what has happened and how he has changed through the ordeal.


I wake to the sound of chirping, the warm light of dawn filtering through the heavy foliage and vines above. The world still and quiet all around me besides the small stream trickling in the background. The morning breeze rustling the leaves and vividly-colored flowers. Everything here is peaceful.

I close my eyes, hoping to fall asleep once more, only to find that I can't. I never can.

"Mai." I whisper softly, shifting in our bed of vines to face her, still fast asleep "Mai-" I stop, hand hovering just centimeters away from her shoulder as I look at her.

She's smiling.

I feel my heart skip a beat. I haven't seen that smile in such a long time it took me by surprise. Now that I think about it, has she ever really been truly happy since we got here? Since we deserted our home to live here in Helheim? I can't remember.

I settle with just resting my hand on top of hers. Squeezing it reassuringly as I get up, watching as she nestles deeper into the pile of leaves, her now blonde hair falling over her face.

I don't know where I'm going. I never really do. But one thing is for sure, Mai will be waiting for me until I come back.

* * *

><p>With Mai's smile still on my mind, I pick my way through the forest randomly, the vines clearing at my command.<p>

I can't help but wonder what caused her to smile. Was it a dream? Wistful imaginings of us returning back to our old home, Earth? Or was it the happy memories of us dancing together before the world was on the brink of destruction? Sadly, I think about how Mai never talks about dancing anymore, only busying herself day by day with watching over the life that lives here alongside us.

I don't watch them with her. It's too painful. Too painful to remember and see these creatures behave like the friends I once had, to act so human-like. I try not to eat the forest's fruit either. I fear that if I continue eating it I'll become like the Overlords I fought so hard to defeat. But eventually I succumb to my own desire to taste once more, for I have long forgotten what the foods back on Earth were like.

* * *

><p>I settle down in the white sand of a beach overlooking the ocean, remembering my last encounter with Takatora a year ago.<p>

_One year._

One year since I had claimed the Forbidden Fruit and forced the plants of Helheim to move into this once desolate planet. One year since I left all my family and friends behind.

_"Do you ever regret doing this?" _I remember Mai asking.

In truth, maybe I did just a little. In the late darkness of nights, I would sometimes lay awake and imagine how I could've done things differently. Sometimes even imagining what my life would've been like if I hadn't gotten involved with Yggdrasill and had gotten a real job like my sister had asked me numerous times. Sometimes spending hours just wondering how the others back on Earth are doing, wondering what their lives will be like years later when they're older, where as I would show no sign of aging.

But even then I always answer the same.

_"No, I don't regret anything, this is all for the best."_

Mai would always look at me funny after I said that, worry clouding her eyes as she probably wondered if I really mean what I'm saying, thinking about if I was as much as a casualty as any one else, quietly suffering. But even then she would force a smile and return to her normal cheerful self, teasing me for sounding like such an adult.

_Am I though? _I wonder.

In some ways I believe I'm still shrouded with petty doubts and uncertainties.

I don't think I'm smart enough like Micchy or a good leader like Kaito, the only thing I am good at is protecting people. But now what? I have nothing worth protecting here anymore.

* * *

><p>I drag my feet back to where Mai is, my thoughts still swirling like a storm. Unease and anxiety probably showing on my face.<p>

Before I brush past the last of the vines, I force myself to smile, to stand straight, to show Mai that I'm okay. The last thing I want is for Mai to worry about me.

"Mai, are you-"

"Kouta!" she shouts.

I flinch, staring back at her eyes, red and puffy with tears as they continue rolling down her cheeks.

"Mai..."

She shuts her eyes tight and runs toward me, embracing me as her arms wrap themselves around me.

"Kouta..." she murmurs angrily through her tears "Where did you go?"

"I-I just went for a walk I-"

"Don't leave me like that! I-I had a nightmare. I thought I lost you too!"

_Lost?_

I can't help but remember the people that I failed to save.

"Mai..."

"It's only us now, we only have each other."

At that more tears seem to appear as she burrowed deeper into my chest, her arms tightening around me.

I'm left speechless, my own tears falling as we stand there, arms wrapped around each other. It's been so long since I've felt any emotion like this. I've just accepted myself as no longer a human that I forgot about Mai.

_Mai._

I hold her close, my heart swelling with pain and sadness. Every memory of before flooding back to me in an instant. I tell my self to stay strong, to guard and block these flow of emotions for Mai's sake, to force myself to accept things how they are.

But even then I cry. I cry for all the things I've left behind. All the people I've hurt for not saying goodbye. All the people who I couldn't save and will fade from people's memories. I cry and let my heart fall to pieces, for I am not strong. And who knows how long we stood there, arms around each other as we let the tears continue to drip silently to the ground. We didn't care. We only had each other now.

But time moves on. The sun will rise and set everyday, life will move on, live and die. And so will we. Maybe not now, but here, in our world, we'll get through it together.


End file.
